Janet's Quest

Scene Twenty-seven...The Kennel Club #2 Time: Lunch hour, Wednesday, April 3, 1946 Place: William's boat Storyteller: William Mr. Robertson is sitting on the sofa with Tom in his lap. The cat is purring. It's like a nervous habit, the way Harry is petting him over and over. The man is frowning. "Do you think Lois and Janet saw you?" "Hopefully not. Lois thought I was playing golf. What a weasel I am to deceive my dear wife. You've got to help me, William." "Stop punishing yourself." "What do you mean?" "Guilt's a form of self-inflicted punishment. It rarely solves the problem...just makes you miserable." "I'm miserable alright. What will solve the problem?" "Maybe negative reinforcement. Like when you passed your family on the bay. The second you saw them you were horrified...rapid pulse...sweat. Right? Perhaps that negative feeling has cured you? You might be so afraid of getting c...

Scene Twenty-eight...Odile Time: Afternoon, Saturday, April 6, 1946 Place: Ballet school Storyteller: Janet "I deserve to be Odile." Mom is concentrating on her driving. "Janet, I'm going to drive home, too. I need more practice than you." She parks near the ballet school. "You brought your sketch pad. Will you draw me?" "Not today. It's so beautiful, I'm going to walk in the wet sand. That should inspire a seascape." I wave and walk toward the studio. After warm ups, Anna speaks to me privately. "Put on your pointe shoes, please." She calls Robert and me to the center. "Help her with the Black Swan grand pas de deux." At the climax of the dance for two, Mistress says to me, "one fouette rond de jambe en tournant." I stand on my left flat foot. I whip the right working leg around to the side, creating one turn. I pull the right leg in to touch the supporting knee. My left foot rise...

Scene Twenty-Nine...An accident? Time: Afternoon, Saturday, April 13, 1946 Place: Ballet school Storyteller: Janet Mom turns east toward South Beach. "My art guild switched their meeting time from Saturday mornings to afternoons. Would you try to borrow Betty's car next week? Your father said you may drive alone now that you're sixteen." "I feel terrible, making you miss a guild meeting. Don't worry. Betty or Doris will give me a loaner. Do some sketching while I'm in class." In the studio, Anna instructs us to wear pointe shoes. Only three months til the big performance. We warm up for a demanding lesson. "Grand plie," she says. I make a large bend of the knees. My heels are off the ground. I look like a frog. "Saute arabesque and then attitude," says Mistress. I jump into arabesque and then bend my extended leg at the knee. Hopefully the angle is ninety degrees." Class is finally over. Yeaaa. I'm on...

Scene Thirty...Black Eye Time: Afternoon, Saturday, April 20, 1946 Place: Ballet school Storyteller: Janet If I have an accident in Betty's car, Dad will never buy me one. I drive the 1940 Ford V8 with care, just like mom would. How long will it take Dad to find something for me? The problem is, factories quit making cars during the war...only military vehicles. No wonder Paul's so busy at the auto repair shop, even if it's a part time job...now that he's in college. A half hour later, my day dreaming has ceased. Anna and Sergey take turns working us to death. Muscle pain is the only thing on my mind. "Allegro," he says. "Faster, faster." We do brisk, dynamic jumps in sequence. "Changements," she says. We begin in fifth, jump in place, then switch feet positions while in air...landing in fifth with the opposite foot now in front. Praise heaven, they cut class short. We sit on the bench. I'm on guard for a new tri...

Scene Thirty-one...The Kennel Club #3 Time: Lunch hour, Wednesday, April 24, 1946 Place: William's boat Storyteller: William "Where's Tom?" Harry asks. "He's probably begging at Sal's," I reply. "First Janet abandons me and then your cat." "What has Janet done now?" "I caught her red handed hanging around the track when she was supposed to be in ballet class." "Gambling?!" "Heavens, no. She was eating something when I drove out of the parking lot." "Did she see you? Was she alone?" "Yes, alone. No, don't think she saw me. Wish I could punish her, but then she would know her dad's a gambler. I'll tell her the ballet classes are too expensive." "Oh, great. Then if she did see you, she'll think you lost the trust funds at the dogs. I'll bet you she was hungry after all that dancing and craved a bagel. That girl eats constantly and burns...

Scene Thirty-two...Confession Time: Evening, Saturday, April 27, 1946 Place: Sal's and the boat Storyteller: William Betty and I are at our favorite table at Sal's. The ocean is sparking. We're wearing lobster bibs. Can't risk staining her beautiful pink dress. The ruby earrings compliment it perfectly. I don't deserve her. "Want your birthday gift now or before dessert?" I place the little box on the table to tease her. She blushes to match her dress and whispers, "Now." I hand it to her. She opens it. She blinks. She looks into my eyes. She looks back at the one carat diamond solitaire. Necklace. Tears roll down her cheeks, landing on her bib. Betty stands. Pivots. Walks past the waiter carrying our lobsters, and continues toward the entry. I jump to my feet, yank off the bib, pass our lobsters, and follow her out the door. We're alone in the moonlight. I grab both her hands, stare into her disappointed face and ask the...

PART II...Scene Thirty-three...Where is he? Time: Morning, Sunday, April 28, 1946 Place: The marina and Sal's Storyteller: Janet I ride my bike to the marina and park in Sal's lot, wondering if they ate lobster last night. Why didn't the folks buy me a car for my birthday? I learned to drive, thanks to Paul. Betty sneaks up on me and asks, "What are you doing here, besides chewing juicy fruit gum? It makes you look cheap." "Why are you so grumpy? I'm looking for William, but his slip is empty. Thought we could exercise before breakfast." "Bike riding isn't just transportation, Janet. It's exercise." "What's wrong? Your eyes look puffy. Didn't he give you a nice birthday present? Lobster?" Betty lifts her chin to show me the rock. "It's blinding me in the sunlight. Beautiful. Your birthday stone. Mom and I were hoping for a ring." "Me, too." "Are you okay? Where...

Scene Thirty-four...Father Tony Time: After lunch, Sunday, April 28, 1946 Place: Marina phone booth Storyteller: William A little dizzy from the champagne, I close the phone booth door. "Operator, I want to place a person to person call to Tony Barletta, Virginia Beach, Virginia." I give her the number and coins. "clink, clink, clink..." "Hello, Tony. How are you?" I listen. "Good, good...and the sisters?" I listen. "Hummm. Tell her to drink lots of water and get plenty of rest." I listen. "No, I'm fine, couldn't be better. If I phoned more often it wouldn't scare you to death. In fact, I have wonderful news. Betty proposed and I said yes." I listen. "Yes, proposed marriage. The wedding will be July 4th. So on Independence Day, I'll lose mine. Ha, ha." I listen. "Yes, she knows the secret. We're going to keep it between the three of us for now." I listen. ...

Scene Thirty-five...Birthday? Time: Evening, Thursday, May 2, 1946 Place: Doris's house Storyteller: Janet "Surprise!" Doris, Paul, and I shout when Betty and William walk in. They look stunned. "Doris says, "I peeked into your personnel file and jotted down your birthday, William. You look too young to be born in 1915. Maybe it's because you eat so healthy." "Are you the one who told Harry I graduated from University of Virginia?" "Well...Mr. Robertson wanted to know...didn't think you'd mind," replies Doris. Paul says, "You could pass for my age." "Thanks. I haven't aged much since almost freezing in the Chesapeake Bay one January. I'm going to research that someday." "Oh, yea. That's when you woke up half-crazy thinking you were 'Superman,'" I add. "I read those comics all the time in Italy," Paul says. "Doris and I were both in Anzio, but...

Scene Thirty-six...1940 Plymouth Time: Afternoon, Saturday, May 4, 1946 Place: Ballet school Storyteller: Janet It was William's party, but when the folks drove up in a gift for me...well...what a sight. Now here I am, driving my royal blue, 1940, Plymouth convertible to South Beach. Will I ever stop smiling? I park. This is the beginning of our tropical rainy season...better put the top up. Anna takes it easy on us today. No pointe shoes. We mainly glissade, the traveling step. It links steps together. I glide my working foot from fifth. The other foot closes to it. I do a demi plie from closed position. Then my working foot glides from the floor to inches above. My other foot pushes away from the floor. Knees are straight. A plie shifts my weight to the working foot. Another glide and another demi-plie. Class is over. Can't wait to see the car again. I skip out the studio door just in time to watch a rock arch through the air and land, with a thud, on the trunk...

Scene Thirty-seven...Odette Time: Afternoon, Saturday, May 11, 1946 Place: Ballet school Storyteller: Janet Dad shouldn't have gotten me a convertible. It's not worth the risk. I park several blocks away from the school. We warm up at the barre in the five positions, then continue with centre practice. Anna says, "Croise." This is one of the eight body positions. Legs are crossed in the front or in back, but at an angle to the audience. "Grande jete." Mistress ends our class with this big jump. The working leg in the air, appears to have been thrown. School is dismissed, but I'm asked to wait outside. I hear the Brodskys argue in French. Ten minutes later they invite me back into the studio. Sergey is smiling. He holds Anna's hand. She looks miserable, but speaks, "Janet, my husband and I have always danced the lead roles in 'Swan Lake', in order to preserve the artistic integrity of the ballet. Robert is not ready to p...

Scene Thirty-eight...A Wedding Plan Time: After church, Sunday, May 12, 1946 Place: Robertson's home Storyteller: Janet "My goodness, Janet. These are so glamorous. I really need them. Thank you." "Hummm. Lois, you're going to look like Betty Grable in those," Dad adds. Betty and William are rattling around in the kitchen. I waltz through the swinging door. "Nice of you to skip church and cook on this special day. May I help with the dishes?" "I'll wash, William dry, you put them away." "When are you going to learn how to cook?" he asks. "Never. Rockettes don't have time. They grab quick bites at drug store counters...like in the movies. Plenty of those in New York." "Janet, make a plate for Paul. Roast beef, mashed potatoes, carrots, green beans. Top it with gravy." "Just a minute. Dad's trying to get my attention." "Where's your brother? He should be h...

Scene Thirty-nine...Shark Time: Afternoon, Saturday, May 18, 1946 Place: Ballet school Storyteller: Janet I arrive at ballet early, to give Mistress my decision. "Adette is fine with me, if you'll play Odile." Anna replies, "Unless another student can master thirty-two fouettes, I'll have no other choice. Good. It's settled." I put on pointe shoes and warm up at the barre. Sergey motions me to centre. He speaks to the class. "We're in Act II of Swan Lake. The prince sees a white swan wearing a crown. Suddenly the bird is transformed into a beautiful princess. Because of an evil magician's spell, every morning she turns back into a swan." He leads me through the dance where they profess love for one another. Over his shoulder I see Anna. Is she sad...or jealous? I try to achieve Odette's delicate, fluid arms. My movement is fast, but with small steps. The class applauds, except Nancy. After dismissal, I stroll ...

Scene Forty...Purple Heart Time: Suppertime, Sunday, May 19, 1946 Place: Doris's home Storyteller: Janet "Janet, set the table!" Betty calls from the kitchen. I pull the buffet drawer to get out "Grandma's good silver." A small box bumps into the spoons. I open it. It looks like a purple heart, with a gold profile of George Washington in the center. "William, what's this? Do you know?" He whispers, "The Purple Heart. Doris must have been wounded in the war." Doris enters the dining room and sees what we're up to. "It was nothing really," she says, then takes the medal and puts it away. I'm crying. "That scar on your leg?" "My hospital ship was bombed. My leg got burnt, but it healed quickly." Betty heard everything. She's standing beside me, crying. Doris says, "Let's eat." We obey. Dinner is quiet. She speaks, "You might as well know the rest of my h...

Scene forty-one...The Kennel Club # 4 Time: Lunch hour, Wednesday, May 22, 1946 Place: William's boat Storyteller: William Harry is sweating, but he wants that hot cat on his lap. "She caught me. Janet was so excited to show me that shark, but I lied to her. As if that isn't bad enough, I asked her to deceive Lois. What kind of father would do such a despicable thing?" "A father addicted to gambling. You're hooked on the forbidden fruit. Because it's taboo, you think there must be some advantage or benefit to playing the dogs. You're wrong...no benefit...but it has power over you." "You mean gambling attracts me more than golf, because hitting a little white ball around is socially acceptable, even when we bet a few bucks on a round?" "Exactly. Where's the picture of your dad?" "In the family album." "Please put an eight by ten of your parents on your desk at the office. You have photos of ...

Scene forty-two...Unlike Him #1 Time: After school, Thursday, May 23, 1946 Place: William's boat Storyteller: Janet "Is Betty at work?" I ask. "Yes, why?" "Because I have another secret to tell." "Please no. We're engaged. No secrets." "But I must tell you and if Betty finds out she'll be sick with worry. Is that what you want?" "I hate this. Get it over with," says William. "Nosy me...I surprised Dad in the Kennel Club parking lot. Actually we surprised each other. Normally I'd get the ninth degree, but instead he asked me to deceive Mom about his whereabouts. Well, that's a first. It's not like him at all. Something is wrong with him or between my parents. I'm scared." "What am I supposed to do?" "Just keep an eye on him. A couple of other times I caught him headed toward South Beach or leaving that parking lot, but he didn't see me. This is odd. ...

Scene Forty-three...Makeover Time: Saturday, June 1, 1946 Place: Downtown Miami Storyteller: Janet "Let me drive, please." I hold out my hand for Betty's car keys. "No. Not in the rain," she replies. "I've driven the Plymouth in the rain...and besides, Dad let me drive Mom to shop in Miami." "It wasn't raining...but I suppose you need the experience," Betty gives in. Doris hops in the back. Betty bosses me from the front. "Turn the lights on." I keep both eyes on the wet pavement all the way to Burdines. The rain stops. The sun pops out from behind a cloud. "First things first. The Bride." I lead the way. There are about ten shades of white. This is confusing to me...never been so bored in my life. Silk, satin, taffeta. Betty tries on them all. She is now modeling the one with the "V" neck. Can't believe I skipped ballet for the first time in my life to shop. "That is my ver...

Scene Forty-four...Shallow Waters Time: Afternoon, Saturday, June 8, 1946 Place: Ballet School Storyteller: Janet "Assemble," says Anna. We lift off the floor on one leg. We land on two legs at the same time and return to fifth position. "Temps leve," Mistress says. We rise. Hop from one foot. This can be done in any position, but she demands fifth today. Anna calls Nancy and me aside. "While the others do barre exercises, Janet, teach her a proper fouette." Lord. She's making me work with my arch enemy. I obey. Nancy pays attention. Spins rather nicely. She always has had aspirations to be the black swan. She didn't trip me until I was picked for Odile. We are finally dismissed. I need a dip. The shallow water soothes my aching feet. Looking toward the horizon, I wonder how many sharks are between me and that big cruiser. What a chicken. Fear is ruining all my fun. Is one hammerhead gonna keep me in shallow water forever? ...

Scene Forty-five...The Brewing Storm Time: Afternoon, Sunday, June 9, 1946 Place: Doris's house Storyteller: Janet "Stop whining about your dad. I can't stand another word of it. He bought you a car, for heaven's sake!" "Gosh, Doris. You're usually more patient. Is it that time of the month?" "Yes, as a matter of fact, but I'd be irritated with you anyway.Your father has sacrificed so much for his family." "Oh, no. The Great Miami Hurricane story again." "Yes! Think about it. Your dad was observant. He recognized early signs of the brewing storm in the Atlantic and took his family from Miami." "True, many people died." "My papa was observant, too. He recognized early signs of the brewing storm in Nazi Germany and sent his family to Miami." "And you're observant. You figured out the connection between those two stories. Both dads are heroes." "And I'm je...

Scene Forty-six...Surprise Time: Afternoon, Saturday, June 15, 1946 Place: Ballet school Storyteller: Janet Master teaches the class. Mistress is nowhere in sight. Everybody is dismissed except me. "Janet, let's try Act IV one more time," says Sergey. The dance is almost over when...surprise...he kisses the back of my neck. Surprise again...I whirl around and punch him in the stomach. His knees buckle and his head goes forward. "I quit!" I scream and turn my back on him. And there she is. Anna saw everything. She claps her hands. I'm half way to the car and still hear her, "clap-clap." My heart won't slow down. The Plymouth is a welcome sight. I need air...put the top down. Glad my hair's in a bun. No Swan Lake for me. Might as well concentrate on Madame's recital.

Scene Forty-seven...Dance recital Time: Evening, Saturday, June 22, 1946 Place: Viridian Community Theatre Storyteller: William Why must we sit in the front row? First Paul, then Lois, Harry, me, Betty, and Sal. Doc and Doris are working. "Fortunately Madame Caillebotte was able to rent the theatre for her recital," says Betty. "It's warmer than usual, but the fans help," I reply. "Sal, how did you manage to take off work on a Saturday night?" "Janet's worth it. Gail's the hostess," he says with an Italian accent. "Thank you for donating refreshments for the after-party, Sal." Betty continues to chat with him. I close my eyes to relax until the show begins. Harry's voice carries; he's still upset about the art exhibition. Lois's painting came in second. He says she got robbed...wants to call the judge at home. Lois looks straight into her husband's eyes. She puts her index finger over her l...

Scene Forty-eight...The Operation Time: Night, Saturday, June 22, 1946 Place: Operating room, Viridian Hospital Storyteller: Janet (invisible) I have separated into two Janets. Anesthetized Janet, on the operating table...asleep. Invisible Janet, floating around the ceiling...awake. Awake, but in no pain. Aware of the serious situation, but unafraid. I see the medical staff, wearing blue-green. I see pints of red blood. Doris says Dad and Paul donated blood. William is standing near my right groin. He's staring down. Doing surgery with both hands. Doris is assisting him. Without looking up he says, "I'm sewing a two and a half inch hole in her femoral vein. Had to make a five inch incision to find it." "Doc, you and Betty work on her swollen leg. Show Betty where to make incisions in both sides of her calf. They need to be nine inches long. Then, clean out the pooled blood. It's causing massive swelling." I watch my operatio...

PART III...Scene Forty-nine...Maria Time: Afternoon, Saturday, June 29, 1946 Place: Jackson Memorial Hospital, Miami Storyteller: Janet "Did you cry much?" Maria asks. "No, I was unconscious." "How many operations did you have?" My physical therapist chats on and on while watching me walk. "Three surgeries in five days. An ambulance brought me here for the second one." "What all did they do?" "Dr. Templeton...you know he's from New York...checked out my femoral vein. It looked fine, so he closed my groin incision. He couldn't sew up my leg at that time, because it was still too swollen." "Oh, that's too bad." "Let me tell you about William, my almost-brother-in-law. On the night of the accident, he sewed that vein back together while my sister worked on the leg. What a team they are." "I'll say." "A couple of days later, Templeton operated on my leg. It...

Scene Fifty...Superman Time: Evening, Monday, June 1, 1946 Place: William's boat Storyteller: William Tony has only been here a couple of hours and Tom is already sleeping in his lap. "I like your cat, Moses...I mean William. Golly I'll try harder." "It wasn't right of me to ask you to call me William. To ask a priest to lie...it must be a mortal sin." "Nope. I should call you William. You're in a Catch-22." "Practicing medicine without a license is illegal...I could go to jail. Refusing to save a life, when able, is immoral...I could go to hell. "But Clark Kent always does the right thing and so do you. Maybe you really are Superman. Maybe your biological father beamed you down into my church from Krypton, right before the planet exploded?" "You'll never let me live that one down...back when I was a delirious half drowned kid." "Never...I thought you were gone...never prayed so hard in m...

Scene Fifty-one...Wine Time: Evening, Tuesday, July 2, 1946 Place: Robertson's home Storyteller: Janet Lucy's by Tony's feet. "I like your dog Janet." "She must love you, because she's been glued to me since yesterday." "I hear your physical therapist is moving to Viridian tomorrow." "Maria, yes. I'll have her, and my dance teacher Madame 'C', and my boxing coach..." "Wait a minute," says William. "You can't box for six months." "Why not?" "Because you must take a blood thinner pill for that long to prevent clots. The medication will cause you to bruise easily." I roll my eyes...too tired to fight. Dad hands the priest a glass of wine and sits down next to him. "Cheers." "Tony, I hear you went to Loyola. When did you graduate?" Here we go again. College. How boring. I shake my head. "1919, but I should have gone to war inst...

Scene Fifty-two...A Secret Time: Afternoon, Wednesday, July 3, 1946 Place: William's boat Storyteller: William "Let's sail over to Palm Island and try to find Al Capone's villa," says William. "Speaking of Italians, Tony, has anyone ever said you look like Perry Como?" Betty asks. "Yes, all the nuns think he looks like Perry," William teases. "What a compliment. I have more gray hair than Mr. Como, but we're both from large Italian-American families. Harry was going to play some of his hit records at your rehearsal dinner...'Prisoner of Love', 'Surrender.'" "About the wedding...I have a license. You're a priest. Betty and I want you to marry us tomorrow as planned." "What? I thought Harry rescheduled for Labor Day. Same color scheme, so Janet can shine in that red dress?" "He did. It will be a renewing of our vows, but nobody will know that except us. It will be anothe...

Scene Fifty-three...Need to Know Time: Evening, Saturday, July 6, 1946 Place: William's boat Storyteller: William "Sal serves the best 'surf and turf'. Thank you William," says Doc Sasser. Tom is in his lap. "Don't thank me. Harry insisted and picked up the tab. Said something about saving his daughter..." "Daddy bought the champagne, too. We decided to drink it on the boat, in private. Want a refill, Doris?" "No, thanks. When did Tony slip away without even telling me good-bye?" "Yesterday. He'll be back Labor Day for the renewing of our vows," I casually mention. "Oh, the wedding." Doc is losing his hearing. "No, the renewing of our vows," I speak louder this time. Our guests stare at us with bug eyes. "We're married!" Betty bounces up and down laughing. "You can't tell anyone. Only the five of us know," I remind them. "Tony!" Doris...

Scene Fifty-four...The Apology Time: Afternoon, Sunday, July 7, 1946 Place: Robertson's home Storyteller: Janet The doorbell rings. Mom's shopping, so I answer it. "Anna, what a nice surprise. Thanks for all the hospital flowers. Come in. Let's visit on the patio. I was just going to pick a few mangoes. Take as many as you like. I'll get another bag." She says, "We are so very sorry about your accident. I'm stunned to see you up and around. Let me help with the fruit." "It was a miracle." I reply. "Are we alone?" Anna asks. "Yes. Just Lucy." I pet my dog. "Please accept both of our apologies. Sergey would have come...but thought it best not to...he's embarrassed." "You're both welcome here." "I need to tell you why we acted so inappropriately. Will you hear me out?" "Sure." "It begins way back in Russia. Sergey and Dina, his fiancee, both da...

Scene Fifty-five...Table for Three Time: Suppertime, Tuesday, July 9, 1946 Place: Sal's Seafood Storyteller: William Doc's staring at a sophisticated lady who opened the restaurant door. It's Madame "C". "Thanks for joining me for supper, Doc. I get lonely when Betty works evenings." "Anytime. Life is very quiet for this widower." Again, Doc glances toward the entry. The cosmopolitan woman is waiting to be seated. Her silver hair is in a French twist...Royal blue dress. Sal escorts her to the table next to ours. She notices us and says hello. We both stand. "How nice to see you Madame 'C'...sorry, that's what Janet calls you," I say. "Madame Caillebotte," the southern gentleman pronounces her name perfectly, as if he's been practicing. "Are you meeting someone?" I ask. "No, dining alone." "Please join us." Doc moves aside to offer the lady a window. "...

Scene Fifty-six...An Old Secret Time: Early morning, Saturday, July 13, 1946 Place: William's boat Storyteller: Janet Won't William be surprised to see me riding a bike again. He'll want to treat me to breakfast. I park at Sal's and walk to the boat. "Knock, knock," I say and open the door. There stands Betty...wearing nothing but William's pajama shirt. Thank heavens he walks out wearing the matching pajama bottoms. I scream. They run to me. Betty puts her hand over my mouth. With caution, she removes her hand. "You're gonna get pregnant and have to get married, just like Mom," I whisper. "Don't be silly. They eloped almost a year before I was born." "Nope. They got married seven months before you were born." "But that was the church wedding Grandpa wanted." "Yes, but the elopement was a big, fat lie. They promised each other to tell nobody...ever." "Then how did yo...

Scene Fifty-seven...Man to Man Talk Time: Early morning, Friday, July 19, 1946 Place: William's boat Storyteller: William "Knock, knock." I answer the door. It's Harry. He comes right to the point. "I was having breakfast at Sal's...saw Betty leave...looked over...there she went..." "We're married, sir." "Thank God," he exhales. "I was planning to have a man to man talk with you." "I'm sorry, sir." "When did this happen?" "Fourth of July." "Why that sly fox, Tony." "He didn't want to do this to you. We convinced him you'd never find out." "That's preposterous. Half of the Rotary Club eats breakfast here. They must be snickering behind my back." "I'm so sorry, sir." His wheels are turning. "I need to cancel the fake wedding, put a formal announcement in the paper, call our minister. He'll put it i...